Dome Pondering

--- 8 Years --- Dear Son,  On this day, eight years ago, you changed my life forever.  Today, as your mother and I celebrate your eighth birthday, it's hard not to take notice of the person you're becoming, most notably, the personality that is forming. Ace, you're super cool, bro. You really are. At this point in your life - and I hope you continue with this - you have an innate ability to find a sense of security in your interests, yet still be driven by your empathy.  For me, you turning eight on this day is represented by something that happened this weekend. We were attending a quinceañera for your cousin. At the reception, you discovered a Shirley Temple drink, and you liked it. A rarity since your palette for food and drink is well...very selective. You enjoyed temples all night. Confidently walking up to this open bar among adults, waiting in line, hoisting yourself to the ledge, and asking for your drink.  At the end of the night, after finishing your third ...

--- 7 Years, 10 months--- Dear Son, Baseball is not something you love. And I know that. You like it. But right now, you’re a hoops guy. But bear with ol' dad for a moment with this letter… We played catch for the first time today - a legit game of catch, on a field, with an official NCAA baseball - and it was memorable. I didn’t think this moment would be as cool as it was, but it was. And each time you caught the ball and fired it back, it was surreal.  There’s a lot of beauty in baseball. It’s why I love it. It’s why my dad loved it - despite it being his second love to cricket. There are unexplainable nuances, indescribable accounts, and such randomness that threads through the game that elicits, yes, an unconditional love for the game. Shooting hoops with you gave me joy. And it still does, because that’s our thing. You love hoops. And as a city kid, basketball will always be in my blood. Every time we play, I enjoy it tremendously. And yes, you’ll never beat one on one. (Smil...

--- 2 Years Old --- Dear Son,  Happy Birthday! I have to get used to you sharing a birthday with Jesus - that's still no easy thing to do.  However, you're now two years old! And while I write this, you haven't really been able to celebrate, more so your birthday. At a mere two years old, you're rife with germs and succumbed to a nasty bug, rendering you sick on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day (your birthday), and the days to follow. Everyone here for the holidays was unable to give you that moment, and really, we weren't able to get that moment on your second birthday.  The day aside, I'm grateful for the little guy that you are. In one of my previous notes to you, I mentioned " That's Milo " and you've continued to express that. You're very unique - a character in every way. The complete opposite, thus far, of your brother in so many ways.  Even with your limited speech as a toddler, I love how decisive you are - with your "Yesshhhs...

--- 7 Years 4 Months --- Dear Son,  Today is one of those days I am super proud of you.  Of course, I'm proud of you every day, but today, I wore it on my sleeve...just a bit.  See, today you tested and earned your yellow belt. And while it feels like you'll be sticking with this martial arts love for a while, and there will be many more belts to come, today provided a lot of firsts for me. It was the first time I've seen you in an environment where you truly applied preparation and perseverance. I watched you practice in our basement on your own. Kicking. Going through combinations and striking patterns. Practicing pushups and situps to get yourself where you need to be for the fitness test. I will forever remember the visual of watching you studying the definitions and principles of a fighting spirit in the car through my rear-view mirror before each training session. I sat at every practice and training for the past fifteen weeks - for the good ones, the bad ones, and ...

---19 Months--- Dear Son,  My guy, Milo!  I haven’t written many of these letters to you, yet, but I feel compelled to drop one at this time. You’re now 19 months old! A mere five months away from making us so happy for a full two years! And while you’ve added chaos to this life of ours, I cannot imagine life without you. As our second child, you’re shockingly a mere image of your brother in appearance, while your personality is the complete opposite (so far). You’re a prankster. Fearless. Curious. Decisive. And you eat EVERYTHING! And by everything, I mean, absolutely, any and everything! We have called you our "monster among babies" because, well, you are. And that recent check up of 99% percentile in weight and 95% percentile in height backs that moniker up. You are often mistaken for much older than you really are. Absolute, monster. But ultimately, as you walk and learn to talk (you love saying “no” and “all done”), if a toddler can have presence (at the time of this let...

---7 Years Old --- Dear Son,  It’s been a while since I’ve dropped a few thoughts. Forgive me, I’ve just been watching. Just observing. Taking it all in. Trying to be a good dad. I’m punching the keys today from one of your martial arts practices. It’s your second with “the big kids” and also the second time I’ve found myself watching from the sidelines with anxiety, with pride, and with likely my biggest fandom for you yet in this space. My feelings are much more than you playing baseball or coaching you in basketball. Your disposition is different. Your excellence is different in this space. With martial arts, you stay diligent with the process. Respectful. Working hard. Getting better. In competition with and respecting the older kids you are training with. That’s what I’ve enjoyed. It encapsulates everything you’ve grown into thus far. Still empathetic as ever, but adding an element of self-ambition and drive - something I’ve prided myself on - and to see you mature into this m...

---6 Years Old --- Dear Son,  Happy Birthday!  I punch the keyboards for this post with so much adulation and pride after your sixth birthday. Six! I can't help but think of the person you're becoming. The word that comes to mind is...super.  Not for some form of alliteration or compliment, but because you're at the core just, well...super. My favorite thing about you is your developing personality, combined with your ability to reason, respond, and react within your own style and wit. And yes, you can read now, so there are some smarts behind it all at this stage.  Yet, under the "come on bruhhs" and the use of the phrase "literally" for every statement of relevance you want to exclaim, there is the constant thread of the fabric that is empathy that remains within your personality that is so beautiful to witness and experience.  "Are you okay?"  I especially love the way that you feel for people (and things) in the moments. The way concern dra...

--- 5 Years, 7 Months --- --- 25 Days ---- Dear Son(s),  It's weird to continue these letters as this is the first with plurality. Dear Sons! Ahhhhhh! As this is the first post in which there are now, well...two of you.  It's still very odd and strange for me to wrap my mind around the idea that I not only have two children, but two boys who have me as their Dad. I've settled into being that for Ace, and now, there is you, Milo. I look at both of you and instantly there are flashbacks, comparisons, and Deja Vu in so many scenarios.  There is also wonder, excitement, and yes, challenges you both bring - that I welcome.  Early on, you both are alike and also, so different - in your appearance, your wants, needs, and desires at the stages of life that you both occupy. One thing is for sure, you both are exhausting. But, the energy is well worth it.  In the very short time in which we've been able to share the same space and time, with intention and ease - as Ace wo...

--- 5 Years, 2 Months --- Dear Son,  Today, you started Kindergarten. And like every parent present for the first day of school, your mother and I had all the feels and emotions. From watching you line up among your new classmates to standing there with your "big boy bookbag" and your Spiderman lunch box, all of it felt as momentous and season-opening as "firsts" bring.  Yet, it was more than the "firsts" and the seasonals, or even the pictures and everything else that felt remarkably different that morning. It was the journey to this point, especially as of late - I knew you were ready for this for a couple of months now. I've been so confident that you were prepared, and you are! I could tell how stagnant the last couple of months of summer camp felt. You needed a new challenge and a new environment to push you. Finally, here we are.  At the same time, I couldn't have been more proud this morning. You handled the anxiety and drops of fear that we...

--- 5 Years Old --- Dear Son, Today, you turn five years old.  It's been a while since I've officially dropped a note to you on this platform. I've been obsessed with watching you grow and develop over the past year (or so). From your humor to your love for science and of course, the outright obsession with Spiderman right now. It's nothing that I accurately imagined, and yet everything I expected. I really wanted to express some thoughts via a post here a few weeks ago when you confidently walked into your new Elementary school for the Fall with confidence and wonder. The way that you let go of my hand, turned, looked and Mom and I as we sat in the hallway, and then proceeded into the classroom for your Kindergarten assessment - all of it in that moment - filled me with pride and a sense of accomplishment that I haven't found the words to accurately describe. At five, everything you are has been [insert whatever that accurate adjective is] to watch. You've got ...

--- 3 Years, 9 Months --- Dear Son,  It's been a while since I've dropped a note to you - actually I haven't done so since your last birthday. The last nine months since then have been trying, tremendous, and of course, VERY interesting. We've been able to witness your personality come to be, your talents begin to blossom, and overall, you begin to establish yourself very early in this world.  After all, COVID continues and really has been a dominant presence in your life. While masks as of this writing are no longer required in school, over the past few months your mother and I have had you home again, a lot - much like the start of the pandemic - after variants of COVID closed your school repeatedly (and frequently), and for a brief moment had society on edge.  Regardless, we made it. And during those stints of 8 days, 10 days, or whatever the state mandate was at the time for the latest recent closure, I learned not how much you missed school, but truly, how much you...

 --- 3 Years --- Dear Son,  Happy Birthday!!!!!! On this day in 2021, you are now three years old. The Ace experience continues to endure with long days and short years, but every milestone along this journey brings me great joy, tremendous pride, and an overwhelming sense of growth not just for you, but also, for myself.  I sit here punching away at the keyboarding thinking about you entering your fourth year of life, and how much has changed in you over the past three years. Yes, you're only three, but there are days in which you wake up and I am just shocked at how much you grew overnight! There are days where your mother and I look at you in amazement and wonder - uhh, is Ace all of a sudden ready for High School? Of course, we expect more of those moments to come (obviously you will change), but regardless, each one of those split-second finite moments where we see a new evolution of you trotting down the stairs, or fearlessly climb a jungle Jim, or suddenly move a ...

 --- 2 Years and 7 months -- Dear Son,  A lot has changed since my last note to you almost seven months ago. As you know, at the time of this notice, we are in a pandemic. I hope you only know the definition and sense of the term and not endure actual life experience.  During this time, your mother and I have purchased a house and have relocated to Wayne, NJ. I have no idea where we will end up once you begin reading these - I hope it's in the same house because that would be cool - but regardless, here we are: still in a pandemic that emphasizes and encourages quarantine and limited adventure. 

--- 2 Years and 90 Days --- Dear Son, Your dad is a nerd. I'm sure you've come to realize that by now (assuming at the writing of this that I haven't suddenly changed), but yes, this is the case. I like books. I like debates. I like knowledge. I like writing (obviously). And, I like thinking through many of life's challenging topics through various lenses - especially pertaining to people, sociology, and everything that makes us, us.  As a young boy, I was instantly met with this reputation as I was the kid who always did well in school. And truthfully, early in my grade years, I was very competitive with my grades. It was one of the reasons I skipped an entire grade. So yeah, total nerd.  But don't be fooled, I wasn't immediately wired this way. It was more so a construction, coaching, and building of this understanding that knowledge and education should be sought and pursued. It's a never-ending chase. 

---23 Months Old--- Dear Son, I didn't know I would have to pen this letter to you this early in your life. Maybe I was naive. Then again, maybe I was just hoping for something from our country it never has given to people who look like me - equality. Or even just a mere sense - just a sliver, maybe - of real progression towards it. As the quarantine rages on - so far, three months of our society on pause - we also find ourselves in the middle of a generational movement for social change and equality. I'm not sure how your generation will view this time down the road, but I'm hoping it spurs a much better world you are reading this in. It all started with the murder of George Floyd. His life snuffed out at the hands of four police officers, one in particular who knelt on his neck for eight minutes and forty-six seconds. Yes, son, they killed him. But despite a movement and period of time where individuals are now educating themselves on privilege, questioning o...

--- 22 Months Old --- Dear Son, Your second birthday is creeping up, and quite frankly, year two has been quicker than year one. Truthfully, I now understand the common phrase often stated by the parents around me before I became one myself, "the days are long, but the months are short." Year two of your existence, as always, has been a fun learning experience for your mom and I. You're running. You're throwing (even more). You're talking. You're dancing. And yes, you're now even given attitude - which has landed you on timeout at home and in daycare multiple times. At this stage, I'm just outright surprised and in awe of truly how full of life you are. You are absolutely a people person and have this enormous empathy about you. You often care about others, hugging your friends in daycare who are crying, and always stating "ohhh noo!" when one of your animals falls off the couch, one of your favorite cartoon characters finds themse...

--- 18 Months Old --- Dear Son, Today, you are now officially a year and a half, and quite honestly, the growth you've made over the past six months since my latest letter ( on your 1st Birthday ) has been tremendous. As I sit here and punch the keys, you are a little guy full of energy, and super smiles that accompanies your joy and intrigue for everything around you, including your budding verbal communication that is absolutely adorable. In fact, it was just two years ago around this time when we began to share with everyone about your existence, and impending arrival. That Christmas was special. I'll never forget it. Especially for me, in watching my father go from semi-understanding his surroundings, then hearing the news of you arriving in six months, and suddenly being locked in and overjoyed as if the hold of dementia - or at the very least, in that moment - no long had a hold on him.

-- 1 Year Old --- Dear Son,  Happy Birthday! Your first!  It's quite crazy to think that you're now a one year old - a FULL year!  That's a FULL year of growing, adjusting, developing, and offering up love right before your mother and I. And honestly, it's a FULL year of having you change our lives for the utmost best since that very moment nearing midnight in a Brooklyn hospital, just a mere 365 days ago.  While we're completely in awe of the journey that is your life - sidebar: we're anxiously awaiting your first steps! Seriously, can you walk already? - I find your presence already to be dynamic and omnipresent of everyone who is aware of you. It's been quite interesting to truly grasp.

-- 10 Months and 17 Days Old -- Dear Son, It's been awhile. Actually, from looking at my last note to you, it's been 4 months - a third of a year has since gone by! Where has the time gone?! Since then, you've gone from stumbling through your mobility to now zooming around our apartment on your hands and knees, ripping everything down, banging as many items as you could, and exploring all that you've probably been looking at for a while. We know we're in trouble when you start walking. Plus, you're now getting pretty heavy. Like, the type of heavy that places a serious clock on how long your mother and I can hold you.

-- 6 Months and 1 Day Old -- Dear Son, It's been three months since my last letter to you. Since then, you've been growing right before my eyes and making some huge strides in terms of connecting to your mother and I. For over the Fall season, I've witnessed you follow your eyes on us for the first time, recognize us for the first time, sit up for the first time, and yes, even take your first strides in crawling. It's been amazing! And that's not counting some of the unique moments new parents notice in terms of motions, developments, and very unique mannerisms. We actually live for those idiosyncrasies. Nonetheless, here we are - your first Christmas!