It never ceases to amaze me where the good Lord has taken me in my life. Never in a million years, in so many attempts if given, would I ever imagine my life being where it is at thirty when I was a child, or in High School, or even when I was in college. Heck, even in graduate school. Never, never, never.
On this very September 24th, you know, 9/24 for those longtime DP devotees and readers of the Unity Road Writings, I celebrate four years of marriage with my wife. While that is very much a feat and time for celebration - those who are married know what I mean - it's the underlying statistic that stands out to me this year. What is that you might say?
I've been with my wife for ten years. Ten years! That is exactly one third of my entire life.
I'm not exactly sure what to make of it. It's a really long time. It means I am quite old in some aspects, and that I've known this woman for soooooooo long. Really, we've both seen each other change in various ways during an important maturation period for any individual.
Even after ten years of being together, four years of marriage, and whatever it is that may come along with those numbers, I still love my wife. I love our commitment to being a crazy, unconventional, couple that holds pride in saving, cutting coupons, not giving into societal pressures, and most of all, the pressures from everyone around us. Heck, we haven't been to the movie theater since 2007, and take pride in "The Streak".
[sidenote: We still catch the latest movies via library DVDs, Netflix, and good ol' cable. A year behind on the Oscars is typically our lives. But we embrace it, and it works for us].
We've done our own thing to the beat of our own drum for ten years, and while I hope we both continue to change and evolve, as well as in our marriage, I hope that aspect never does.
[sidenote: We still catch the latest movies via library DVDs, Netflix, and good ol' cable. A year behind on the Oscars is typically our lives. But we embrace it, and it works for us].
We've done our own thing to the beat of our own drum for ten years, and while I hope we both continue to change and evolve, as well as in our marriage, I hope that aspect never does.
But of course, this marriage thing gets harder and harder each year. With new challenges, new changes to each individual, and overall, new growth to adapt to. Again, just ask those who plug away at it everyday.
The one thing I have learned over the years is the overwhelming need for others to pry into your relationship with "advice", "suggestions", "standards" and other requirements. The person who always feel they need to tell you where your relationship should be at this time. Or "what's next for you". For us, when we passed five years of dating, it was, "you guys should be married by now!". And of course, now it's, "you guys should have had children already!". You know the type. You exactly the type being described right now.
Typical stuff from them. And to be very honest, since that's all I've ever done on this blog, many of the roadblocks and hurdles in marriages seem to be come from those with close relationships to the couple. For me, it's easily my mother-in-law. But such is life. I think the mother-in-law v. son-in-law dynamic - in any marriage - is such a weird, weird relationship. Just me. Just bloggin'.
Nonetheless, these ten years have taught and reassured me multiple times that happiness really is yours. Just yours. Not in standards, "should bes", material things, "romance", children, homes, or finances. I'm still young (at least I think I am), and one day I may look back on these very words as evidence of my naivete at the time, but for now, I truly buy into Darius Rucker's lyrics when he sings:
'Cause, I got a roof over my head
The woman I love layin' in my bed
And it's alright, alright.
I am indeed alright. I've enjoyed that very description for one third of my life. And so far, I've been extremely happy cutting coupons, watching movies at home, calling our own shots on our own time, and all of the other things that are us, and no one else's.
Happy Anniversary to the best tag team partner. Looking forward to many more.