Skip to main content

Dear Son, Daycare - Who Knew?


--3 Months & 1 Week Old --

Dear Son, 

It's been awhile since I've written a letter to you. The summer has been absolutely amazing, and exhausting - definitely exhausting - but really, amazing. Amazing, in a tiring sort of way. It's strange. It's a feeling I've heard for a long time from parents, and one I now understand myself. I hope for that feeling for you one day as well. You'll get what I mean. 

Yet, here you are! Three months old, bright-eyed, and beginning to show flashes of personality, all while the rolls on your now Michelin Man-like body reflects your physical growth. 

We've made it through what feels like the parental probation period that is the three month mark. And while the summer brought about many things in the real world that often caused your mother and I to take mental notes on the person we would like you to be, we still are very much content on just enjoying this process. Of you growing. Of us, growing.

But now, we've come to another checkpoint in this road - daycare. 

In the search process, your mother and I learned so much about daycare. The enormous waitlists and factors the differentiate each operation, the cost - oh my goodness, the cost! - of the service, and of course, the way privilege and access plays into it all. Yes, you cannot separate equality - or inequality - from even the smallest of things in life. 

Did you know there are people on waiting lists for day care who don't even have children? Even worse, there are people paying daycare centers for the mere opportunity to remain on their waitlists! 

Of course, as a parent, as I think ahead, this already has me thinking about the resources you will have as a child that I didn't have. And even more interesting to think about - how your mother and I plan to balance you understanding your access in life versus exhausting those privileges to give you better opportunities. 

But again, this is just daycare. JUST daycare. I digress. 

Today, as I write this note, your mother returned to work for the first time since your birth, therefore, I dropped you off at daycare for the day. Well, half the day, because you start full-time tomorrow. 

Nonetheless, it reminded me, as far back as I can remember, of my time in daycare. Even if it were just looking at the pictures of me going to daycare with my dad that sparked memories - it's still a pretty surreal thing that this is happening. 

As I took you out of the carrier on my chest and handed you to your teachers, just like my own memories, I'll never forget your face as you looked back at me with your goofy giggles and smiles. And I'll also never forget the six-to-eight other children shimmying and crawling their way over to me at the door as if I was the most interesting thing of their morning. 

"The kids are always fixated on the dads when they come in. Especially, since your so tall" one of the managers said to me. 

I like to make up in my own mind, that at that moment, those other kids were all thinking, "the new kid who is pretty dope, yeah, his dad is pretty dope too!". But I'm pretty sure to the managers point, anyone large enough to resemble an adult has that effect on 3-9 month old beings. 

I type all of this attempting to deal with strange feelings that I can't even articulate. One can only imagine the feelings your mom has right now sitting at her desk in her office. It must be along the lines of multiplying the feeling I had when I returned to work by that of three. Not to mention, she's technically been bonding with you since the beginning of your existence. I just can't wrap my mind around it. 

With all of that said, in someway, tomorrow, each of us in this family, will somewhat begin separate encounters and experiences apart from one another for the first time since you arrived. That excites me. It really does. I'm absolutely thrilled. It somewhat begins the journey of a family. 

Even in working from home today, and seeing your play mat around the apartment, and mom's scrapbooking stuff about, I keep wondering what the both of you are up to today. And I can't wait to see you both later on. But I guess this all part of the process. All part of the journey. 

Daycare, man. Who knew it would be such a big milestone in life? Such a big pondering-catalyst? 

Happy first week of day care, Ace!

Recently Read

Dome Pondering Move Review: Say You Will (2017)

What is it about? A recent high school graduate cares for his mother while attempting to navigate his first relationship following his father's suicide.  Who is in it? Travis Tope - Sam Nimitz Katherine Hughes - Ellie Vaughn Favorite Scene: [spoiler alert] Sam plays his song for his mom. Favorite Quote: Ellie: "I wish we could have met down the road, maybe when we were like 27." Sam: "I think we needed each other now." Review:  Say You Will was an absolutely pleasant surprise of a watch from the Amazon Prime offerings.  I wasn't exactly sure what to expect with this one, but after the credits rolled, it was a movie that provided authentic characters and a great lesson on life. We don't always have to have everything figured out, and it's okay if you don't.  What makes Say You Will so beautiful is that all of the characters are carrying some inner struggle that connects them in the moment and time that helps them through whatever it is. The unlike...

Dome Pondering Movie Review: Friends With Kids (2011)

What is it about?  Two friends decide to have a child together without all of the strings attached of romantic emotion to avoid the changes that children can have on a relationship.  Who is in it?  Jennifer Westfeldt - Julie Keller Adam Scott - Jason Fryman

Trying to Stay Mellow on Melo and his "Brand"

(Courtesy: NYTimes/Richard Perry) Alright, fire up the rant machine after this one folks.  "What's understood doesn't need to be spoken upon" #DestiNY #TheFutureIsNow — Carmelo Anthony (@carmeloanthony) June 26, 2015 Carmelo Anthony really hasn't been winning any points with me lately. None. I've been indifferent on him even as the years have gone on and the Knicks fanbase continues to split on supporting him. Lately, I've been creeping over to the negative side. For me, a big deciding factor was when he decided to play in the Knicks game in London and in the meaningless All-Star Game to continue "building his brand", and thus delaying his needed knee surgery to the point of affecting his return for this upcoming 15-16 season.