Skip to main content

Dome Pondering Import - FUNK’S CORNER – The Clairvoyant and Jeff Jarrett By: Dory Funk Jr.

Here is an article that I ran across written by Dory Funk. Jr, a legend in the wrestling business and current trainer and mentor for many seeking to enter the industry. Funk, who regularly writes a column for TNAwrestling.com, sheds light on the culture of the wrestling industry, its demands, its evolution, and his feelings. A very short compact column, but one that is very concious of his love and passion for the business.


FUNK’S CORNER – THE CLAIRVOYANT AND JEFF JARRETT
By Dory Funk, Jr


If only a clairvoyant would have told me how it was going to be the day I asked my father if I could become a professional wrestler.

This clairvoyant would have told me that I was about to embark on a wild and crazy life. This life would earn me a good living, but for that good living, the following is what I was about to go through:

I would be slammed to the wrestling mat hard, 50,000 times. I would bleed and spill lots of blood more than a thousand times. (many transfusions worth) Time and again wrestling fans would come to me with handkerchiefs just to sop up a little of my blood and see if it was real.

To earn this good living, I would drive 2,500,000 miles and fly an additional 12,500,000 miles. I would receive 275 tickets for speeding.

I would have multiple near air accidents traveling to cities including engine failure, fuel exhaustion, fire and worst of all, on a private plane on final approach to San Angelo Texas, Dusty Rhodes would get air sick and vomit all over the windshield while I was flying the plane.

While on the road traveling I would drink 360,000 cans of beer. I would also drink innumerable shots of vodka, rum, whiskey, scotch, wine, gin, tequila, an anise flavored Greek liquor called ouzo and on occasion, pure grain alcohol. I would have 3,250 hangovers and take twenty-five years to figure out, "That was ridiculous."

I would argue, fight, talk, and demand respect for this business only to have it renamed "Sports Entertainment."

I would purchase the obligatory Halliburton bag, expensive watch, exotic skin cowboy boots, sports car and as is the case with many wrestlers, I would get a divorce.

I would get hit over the head with a chair thousands of times.

I would wrestle a barbed wire match with my brother and everyone at ringside would throw their chairs at Terry and I, filling the ring with chairs and we thought, "This is really fun."

Many dear friends in the wrestling business younger than me would die.

I would coach a class of young wrestlers and none of them would know the terms: carpenter, crow bar, Pat O'Connor Roll up, ring general, cement mixer, Broadway, or how to speak Carney. They thought Kay Fabe was a female wrestler on the card next week.

If this clairvoyant would have told me all this would happen to me, I would have turned tail and run and all my Daddy would have seen was my ass going in the opposite direction, fast!

NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The truth is I wish The Lord would give me just one more lifetime so I could do it all over again.

Recently Read Posts

CM Punk's Return - Perfect Timing for the Symbol of Anti-WWE

Looooooooook in my eyes, what do you see?! The lyrics to Cult of Personality, especially that first bar,  never felt so fitting for CM Punk as it did last night.  For the most part, everything that is CM Punk's return to wrestling last night at AEW Rampage ties directly into my latest thoughts on pro wrestling - the company is making it must-see destination television, an element desperately needed from pro wrestling.  Last night was incredible as again, it was another moment that made wrestling feel alive - with a wild and energetic pulse. It was one of the coolest moments in pro wrestling that you knew was coming, expected, anticipated, and it was everything and more. Again, MUST-SEE television. That's hard to do.  For me, it wasn't just Punk's return to pro wrestling, but the mere presence and voice of his inclusion in today's space. We know that Punk can deliver on the microphone - probably his best and most signature attribute. We also know that yes, he can

Sunday Sundown Rundown - 10/10/21

3 Up 1. Moderna Vaccine to Low Income Nations - In a world where the idea of "pandemic" now feels like a state of mind or the privilege of belief, Moderna has decided to aim its efforts in getting at least 1 billion doses to low-income countries the COVID vaccine. I'll save the "vaccine" chat for another time - but this is pretty awesome by Moderna. And oh yeah, highly needed.  2. Candace Parker and Diana Taurasi - Two absolute legends of the WNBA had some legacy-cementing moments this week. Parker lead her hometown Chicago Sky into the WNBA finals, and Taurasi, was named the GOAT of the WNBA by fans. Because well, she is. Congrats to both.  3. Netlfix's On My Block - For the second week in a row I'm putting a personal - and admittedly, biased - selection in the "Up" section. One of my favorite shows by Netflix, On My Block , released its fourth and final season, and yes, I binged it on my daily commute home. Gonna miss the crew from Freeridge.

Shoulda, Woulda - Ehhh: Thoughts on the Ending to the 2021 Yankees Season

I've waited to write this post. After all, it's been a tremendously emotional season...well, for the fan base that is.  For me, everything about this year's Yankees playoff run - or exit - was expected. This team, was as complex and complicated of a team as we've seen in a long time. Bad? No, I wouldn't say that. And I know that may trigger some in the fan base - but bad teams just don't make the playoffs in baseball. However, this team was incredibly flawed - to a glaring fault. Rooted deep, deep, deep in a philosophy that currently drives the organization and has now proven to be fruitless - and even more so year after year.  So no, I never expected this team to do much other than possibly surprise me with a deep playoff run. We've seen glimpses of this team's conflicting identity by running the bases, moving runners, getting timely hits, and looking somewhat threatening to the rest of the league. And yet, we've seen this team play terrible defense

The Pondering 10 - Yankees Fandom Annoyance

I'm a New York Yankees fan. If you haven't gotten that already from this blog, then the surprise declaration gives you a small set up for this latest Pondering 10 post. Yes, the Yankees are having a challenging year, and there are so many discussions and breakdowns that can be had that are productive, beneficial, and enlightening to why this season is unfolding the way it is.  You know what is not helpful? Yankee fans antics. Ironic, huh? I've long since realized that I'm associated with this fan base than can be overbearing and at times, super annoying. However, none more so than this year. Listening to sports radio, Yankees Twitter, and talking-head television has made that more clear than ever before.  With that said, here is my Pondering 10 on my Yankees Fandom Annoyance: