Dome Pondering

I've thought a lot lately about raising my boys.  As my oldest son finds himself in spaces of needing discipline, routine advice, and instruction, I find myself slowly circling thoughts around this focus:  How do you raise boys to be men in today's world?  That question, to you, to me, and to any varied reader laying their eyeballs on this post, will elicit varied responses, beliefs, and some controversial/provoking thoughts.  In an era where the concept of masculinity is as loosely defined as it ever has been, equipping boys with the tools to become solid, substantial, respectful men in this age is a highly complex one.  In my mind - again, in my mind - the goal(s) for my boys, en route to being men, make sense. The characteristics, the goals, and the overall feel of what I expect from them is a linear approach. God-fearing boys, with empathy and grace for all.  But the path there isn't so simple. And the enemies of our time present challenges that make i...

I’m learning to get out of the way. Parenting is hard. And that statement in itself doesn’t capture the essence of the difficulty that I am referencing. I despise generational comparisons, and more so, the downplaying of anything generational. However, whenever my mom consistently admits, "I can’t imagine raising children under today's circumstances", I find understanding in that difficulty through her admission. There are new levels here!   As my oldest son, now seven years old, finds opportunities for himself - school, swim, martial arts, sports (he loves basketball, likes baseball), and his own free time and hobbies (Pokemon, Comic Books, and Pro Wrestling) - I’ve found myself balancing what I’ve become accustomed to, further doubled by the growth of his almost two-year-old brother. Because of where they are, it's easy for me to stay in one mode of "helicopter parent".  However, I remember being seven. I had independence (by circumstance) at that age that...

This past week, my son's school notified us that his class would be shut down for a potential positive COVID case. This occurrence marked the second time in less than a month my wife and I would have to endure this, with the first being an experience that likely will scar any parent.  What was the first time, you ask?  Well, imagine receiving the ominous message that a child in your son's class "potentially may be positive". And of course, because of the world we live in now - you know, all of us being expert COVID tracers and novice epidemiologists - you quickly do the math and realize said child had two full days to possibly transmit COVID to your son...and others. But yeah, YOUR SON.   What do they mean, "potentially may be positive?" What if he is positive?  What if we are positive?  The story further unraveled that the parents of the said "potential" child were aware they were positive for the virus, yet, continued to send their child to schoo...

I drove the car home staring at the rearview mirror - or what felt like it - for the majority of the time.  I wanted to make sure that he knew that I was talking to him, and giving him my full attention on this. It was serious - not too serious, sorta serious - but the moment felt like my first test of what will be a series of indefinite small moments - vital, crucial, imperative opportunities. Small enough in the moment, but hopefully strung together enough times to make a difference.  Parenting, right?  Upon picking my son up from school, a complaint was brought to my attention that he was, and I quote, "maybe just a bit too rough with the girls in his class". While I took in the criticism and prepared my mind for addressing the issue with him, the administrator followed it up by stating, "it's not violent or malicious, he's just a boy in a class with all girls. And he's bigger and stronger than all of them."

Yes, 2020 was the shits. Despite the hard divisions that exist in our world and within our society at this time, that is one agreement that possibly is unanimous in the decision. Again, as we know, there are always a few outliers out there. What?! 2020 was awesome! Yeah, okay. But as we come around to a full year since our world was flipped on its side and life as we know it was crumpled up, tossed in a blender, poured out, and trampled on - and that's still an understatement - it's hard not to walk away with lessons and newly found appreciations moving beyond this pandemic.  After all, while 2020 brought fatigue, despair, death, and other battles that were simply "2020", the pandemic has produced some bright spots. For me, that was fatherhood.