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Turning 40 - Grateful and Renewed

I became a forty-year-old individual yesterday.  The milestone is very significant for many and has its societal measures and benchmarks that carry some fear for those approaching its gates. Regardless of approach, turning 40 is filled with reflection, pondering (of course), and preparation for what should be a "new" stage of life. A life stage centered around "transitioning" into a stage seen as the "pre-senior" years.  Sure. Whatever.  I won't disagree that the new "4" digit that sits in front of your age feels encompassing even without understanding completely. Yet, as I stated last year when I turned 39 (going into my 40th year on this earth), I was ready for it. Ready for 40. Today, oddly enough, I am not filled with profound life lessons, ponderings, or reflections.  I sit here, punching the keys, filled with gratitude. I am 40, and I love it.   I carry my baggage of life and bear scars from it at 40. I am grateful for so many experien...
Recent posts

Dear Son, Big Fan of the Kid Turning Seven

---6 Years Old --- Dear Son,  It’s been a while since I’ve dropped a few thoughts. Forgive me, I’ve just been watching. Just observing. Taking it all in. Trying to be a good dad. I’m punching the keys today from one of your martial arts practices. It’s your second with “the big kids” and also the second time I’ve found myself watching from the sidelines with anxiety, with pride, and with likely my biggest fandom for you yet in this space. My feelings are much more than you playing baseball or coaching you in basketball. Your disposition is different. Your excellence is different in this space. With martial arts, you stay diligent with the process. Respectful. Working hard. Getting better. In competition with and respecting the older kids you are training with. That’s what I’ve enjoyed. It encapsulates everything you’ve grown into thus far. Still empathetic as ever, but adding an element of self-ambition and drive - something I’ve prided myself on - and to see you mature into this m...

Quick Ponder: Belong

Trying to... Belong to a Community.  Belong to Someone.  Belong to Some.  Belong.  Be. 

Working in Higher Ed, Lately

"Working in higher education must be interesting these days, huh?" That question was posed to me by several people who recently learned that I worked in higher education. The recent discourse around the industry and field has certainly shifted in narrative and the overall feel within it. I recently wrapped up my fourteenth (!!) academic year. It's remarkable to think that I've been serving students and following a passion for this long. This is especially the case considering the rising turnover, the documented yearly burnout, and the increasing exodus from the field.  And, yup, there is that whole enrollment cliff combined with the politics that are more present than ever on college campuses.  So yeah, higher education is weird right now. Very weird.  Some quick thoughts : IS IT TIME?  Yes, I have thought about leaving the field several times. Especially, over the last few years. COVID didn't really bother me, but it's safe to say that the world of higher edu...

Quick Ponder: Talk

They're gonna talk.  What if you just. let. them. talk.  

Now That It's Over - Enjoyable and Pain All At Once

Welp, it's over.  Is it possible for something to be so enjoyable yet hurt so bad now that it's over?  That's the only way to describe the end of this New York Knicks season. Even after giving it a few days, ironically on the night that the NBA Finals begin - the Finals I thought we really could have gotten to - I still find myself reeling.  Everytime that damn clip of Haliburton's shot bouncing into the air and dropping in...bruh... But, I needed the time to gather my thoughts and feelings, reject the crazy hot takes and absurd opinions, and adjust to some of the immediate changes the Knicks made.  So here we go:  Immediate Thoughts This was easily! - my favorite Knicks season and team since 1998-1999. I know I said that last year, but this era of Knicks basketball has provided me with such luxury to move the goal posts and update these personal lists.  I genuinely loved this run despite its ending.  Jalen Brunson's shot in the Detroit Pistons series ...

Quick Ponder: Take on the World

Twenty years ago with concepts and a degree, They said,  "You're ready to take on the world" Twenty years later,  with experience and scars,  I say,  "Am I not capable of changing the world?"

Knicks Trauma - Ugh Not Again

Well, that was a kick in the stomach.  Coming off a week where the word "catharsis" was used as the description for the euphoria and release of joy from two and a half decades of suffering, Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Indiana Pacers brought about another word - trauma.  Watching the Knicks collapse was the kind of moments that come with these deep runs and moments. NBA Playoff basketball will do that. Yet, this loss - this one - feels about as bad as the 2004 ALCS when the Yankees collapsed in the series to the Boston Red Sox.  That one carries some serious trauma. Luckily, the series isn't over.  Some other quick thoughts from this awful, awful night, New York Knicks Basketball.  - Not to conjure up hyperbole, or even contribute to "hot take" sports reaction culture - but this might have been the worst loss in Knicks franchise history. I cannot think of another in my lifetime, or historically.  - Tyrese Haliburton's "choke"...

Knicks Back in ECF Causing Catharsis

I've certainly shared my emotions and thoughts regarding the New York Knicks on this site over the years. There have been plenty of those to sort through - most of them are rants. Tonight, the New York Knicks ultimately destroyed the Boston Celtics in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals, 119-81. I sat on my couch, afraid to allow myself to feel joy until that final buzzer. As a Knicks fan, I've been through too much to allow myself to do anything else, to make any assumption, until it was final. Until it was confirmed. Until something couldn't fall through...the way we're used to.  Once it was final, it was unreal.  The New York Knicks are in the Eastern Conference Finals. For the first time since 2000.  I was 15 years old the last time that happened. And that was a run with a squad that I consider (still) to be my favorite Knicks team of all-time.  I sat on my couch with all sorts of feelings. My wife was likely trying to understand the moment. My son, exci...

Dome Pondering Movie Review: The Ride (2018)

What is it about? Based on a true story of an eventual BMX Champion who overcame an abusive childhood, a white supremacist upbringing, the elements of the foster care system, and the nuances of an interracial foster family.  Who is in it? Christopher "Ludacris" Bridges - Eldridge Buultjens Shane Graham - John Buultjens Sasha Alexander - Marianna Buultjens Favorite Scene:  Embarrassed to be seen by his new foster parents, specifically Eldridge, who is black, John ducks into his back seat upon being dropped off at school. Eldridge makes light of the situation by mentioning what he packed for lunch before putting the window down and asking out loud to students about PTA opportunities.  Favorite Quote:  None. Review: The Ride was surely a welcome surprise. Upon seeing the trailer, I figured to get a formulaic film about troubled youth, intersect some social norms being challenged, the youth overcomes and changes, happy they live - the end. Well, we got that, but it's th...