I've thought a lot lately about raising my boys.
As my oldest son finds himself in spaces of needing discipline, routine advice, and instruction, I find myself slowly circling thoughts around this focus:
How do you raise boys to be men in today's world?
That question, to you, to me, and to any varied reader laying their eyeballs on this post, will elicit varied responses, beliefs, and some controversial/provoking thoughts.
In an era where the concept of masculinity is as loosely defined as it ever has been, equipping boys with the tools to become solid, substantial, respectful men in this age is a highly complex one.
In my mind - again, in my mind - the goal(s) for my boys, en route to being men, make sense. The characteristics, the goals, and the overall feel of what I expect from them is a linear approach. God-fearing boys, with empathy and grace for all.
But the path there isn't so simple. And the enemies of our time present challenges that make it difficult for me, only a few generations away, to fully understand or find ways to share common experiences.
mas·cu·lin·i·ty noun
the quality or nature of the male sex: the quality, state, or degree of being masculine or manly.
- Merriam-Webster Dictionary
I've already seen this from my seven-year-old. Some experiences are similar to mine, others are very different. He can put together a full presentation on his school-issued Chromebook without flaw at seven years of age (I remember MS PowerPoint being part of a college course!). However, he has yet to experience the spontaneity and child-like discovery (in my perspective) of simply walking to a friend's house and asking, "Can they come out and play?"
And then, of course, proceeding to play without structure. Neither is cause for concern. But today's strengths are different. And so are the pitfalls available.
I often think about what my dad passed on to me. The importance of protecting the women in your life. Giving grace where resentment and apathy can live. And the simple things that still stay with me today, "say hello to those you come across, you never know, it may just make their day."
There are my own experiences, saved, locked, and ready to sow other seeds of wisdom and foundation. But we all have our blind spots. And society surely has its own vices and customs that aren't in the best interests of my sons.
There are the general characteristics I believe they should have: the ability to control their emotions, a sense of working and creating with their hands, a code of discipline, a burning will for ambition and correction, an understanding of protection and truth for themselves and loved ones, and a fulfillment to provide and lead.
Again, just my thoughts, just my opinion...
It's already difficult to navigate 2026 in the changing challenges of being a man, and how that affects our boys growing into the future is a shaky space. It is the balancing of power, emotions, and failure with a high level of awareness and knowledge of privilege and equity, directed by empathy and grace. All is required at higher levels than ever in a routinely unforgiving and lonelier world.
Yet, still finding peace within all of it is needed.
Man up!
It's difficult. So difficult.
For this dad, admittedly, there is a fear of my boys not being men. I'm not sure how many dads, parents, or others would openly admit that. But it's there for me.
My boys are farrrrrrr from the thick of all of this complexity to completely unpack it all, but their growth and foundation are paramount in how they are prepared to face it all.
In today's age, masculinity is up for definition. Unfortunately, it is now up to all parents to forge that.
So, what does raising boys to be men look like in 2026?
I'm not sure I know the answer, but it feels like I'll get there, one moment at a time.