Skip to main content

Small (or Big?) Moment Lessons


I drove the car home staring at the rearview mirror - or what felt like it - for the majority of the time. 

I wanted to make sure that he knew that I was talking to him, and giving him my full attention on this. It was serious - not too serious, sorta serious - but the moment felt like my first test of what will be a series of indefinite small moments - vital, crucial, imperative opportunities. Small enough in the moment, but hopefully strung together enough times to make a difference. 

Parenting, right? 

Upon picking my son up from school, a complaint was brought to my attention that he was, and I quote, "maybe just a bit too rough with the girls in his class". While I took in the criticism and prepared my mind for addressing the issue with him, the administrator followed it up by stating, "it's not violent or malicious, he's just a boy in a class with all girls. And he's bigger and stronger than all of them."While my son can be that - a boy, a typical toddler boy, that is rambunctious and adventurous - it was the perfect opportunity to explain the importance of yes, laying some groundwork of being less rough with the girls (and ultimately treating everyone well) or for the time being, "being nice to the girls". 

I kept telling myself, this is an easy talk. Super easy. You got this! It's just relaying the right thing to do. Say it, he'll get it, and move on. Of course, then the other thoughts creep up once you settle on this being a small moment. I don't want him bullying girls! He needs to treat women correctly! Respect them! Respect them!!!!

On the other hand, I also want my son to be that - a boy. It's not his fault that he's the only boy in his class. And as one of the center directors mentioned to me a few days later when I followed up on the matter, "no one raises the concern when they all pull him roughly in every direction to play with them. The optics are a double-standard". 

Of course, there are so many deeper sociological stigmas to unpack there. But I already had my challenge of this upcoming conversation. 

Suddenly, it felt like a bigger talk than normal. When did my parenting suddenly shift from the damage-control of him putting himself in danger - don't do that! Put that down! Get down from there! - to suddenly advisement on navigating interpersonal relationships? 

Again, simple talk, right? 

After strapping him into his car seat, I circled the vehicle and entered the driver's seat. Ok, here goes... 

Before beginning, I tried to remember any of my father's discussions with me on this topic. Damn it! Was I even listening? I'm sure he had good stuff. If I wasn't listening for the content and the lesson, I should have at least paid attention for future tests like this one. Ugh!!!!! 

It then dawned on me that I'll always have these thoughts going forward - not having my dad to lean on for advice in these moments. Or even the copy-homework-and-make-it-look-different vibe of "hey, what did you say to me?" to work off of. 

We pulled out of the school parking lot, and I just let it rip. His disposition and demeanor soaked it all in and there were plenty of "yes daddee" and affirmative "uh huhs". To be honest, as I write this, I have no idea what I said, but it worked. It was clear that he got the message and that he understood the lesson at play. 

Parenting, right? 

We haven't had any issues since. But it really was the first moment and time during this parenting adventure of mine in which I've felt like there is no manual, or baby book, or suggestion on this. A quick Google won't suffice. 

This was genuinely parenting on another level. Those small moments...or are they? 

Parenting, right? 

Recently Read Posts

Sunday Sundown Rundown - 5/15/22

3 Up 1. California Church Heroes - It's soooooooo weird that the top spot is a result of something so horrific as our ongoing domestic terrorism problem of mass shootings. Still, the courage shown by the five members who stopped the shooter deserves it. Those individuals tackled the shooter and tied him up with an electric cord, while wounded.  It's so tough to fathom that those possibilities are within the realm of your Sunday worship, within the sanctity of your church.  But such is America... 2. Olivia Rodrigo & Drake - Rodrigo continues to reap rewards on an excellent album in 2021 as she topped the Billboard Music Awards with seven awards. There was also Drake who I'm beginning to sense we won't really appreciate his body of work until he's near the end of his career. But yeah, Drake poured in a few more for the legacy debates and discussions.

Dope Sports Threads - Nike City Connect Series (Kansas City Royals)

The Kansas City Royals' City Connect uniforms were a design that I wholeheartedly looked forward to. The Royals' current uniforms and aesthetics are some of the best in baseball, and for a city like Kansas City, it just feels like there was enough room creatively to do something historically enlightening (more so something many do not already know about the city), or a simple approach that builds off of the current design.  To be honest, it may sound simple, but the use of "blue" by the Royals is fantastic.  What we got is a concept that continued the awesome blue approach, with a design concept that is just as cool as their everyday threads. However, where I feel disappointed is the safe approach to this. I would have loved to see them lean into the rich history of the Negro Leagues that is Kansas City - a team (and city) able to do so more than others. That could have been really cool, enriching, meaningful, and somewhat different from the norm - maybe even an ode t

Today, and Someday

Today,  I push to leave on time, to place my ambition on rewind,  to conquer a list,  to feed the drive, to escape amiss Someday,  I'll work to return home soon, with purpose in tune,  to pursue the extent,  to feed my heart, for Today, I repent. 

Royal Rumble 2022 Review: "Struggles of the Current Product Came Glaring Through the Cracks"

The Royal Rumble is easily my favorite wrestling event of the year - solely for the sake of the match, the aura of the pageantry, and all of the drama that comes with it. Nothing is like that buzzer going off, the surprise entrant, and that possible encounter we've been waiting for, or we thought would never happen. It's pro wrestling's All-Star Game in a nutshell.   The event carries so much nostalgia for this wrestling fan, that no matter how bad I think the WWE product currently is - and believe me, I'm no longer avidly watching it - I will still plan my weekend around the event. Unfortunately, this year's Rumble provided that nostalgia, but the sheer struggles of the current product - again, at least to and for this fan - came glaring through the cracks.  Overall, I found the event to be fun. Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns was awesome. Mickie James getting her flowers was super cool, you can't replicate that big fight feel of Lashley vs. Lesnar, and of course