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New Beginnings

img116 “Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end”

That was the quote of a roman philosopher named Seneca which was then immortalized by the band Semisonic in their song, “Closing Time”

And as the days in this life continue to pass by, we enter new chapters and phases in our life. In those chapters, we grow, we develop, we remember, and we prepare for what lies ahead. On a beautiful Wednesday morning as I sit here on the proverbial stoop punching the keys, I find myself looking back on a year that isn’t half way in completion, but has been a testimony of renewal.

In the 2009 DP Year in Review, yours truly touched base on rediscovering desire, passion, and drive. In a time where so many people were and are struggling due to our national economy and the effects from the evils in this world, such components were imperative for not only survival, but revival. And while it reigned true for the masses, the idea was one that hit home. One that was very personal to me.

Without completely reiterating the 2009 DP Year in Review post, the last couple of years have indeed been rough. Dating back to my senior year in college, various aspects have been off or have been a huge struggle from health, employment, faith, and overall happiness. However, as 2009 ended, various aspects began to change, and being at peace with myself was an actualization.

Fast forward to the present, and it seems that Gotham City has sun light. On a day (yesterday) where I celebrated the 25th Anniversary of D-Robo (obviously I’m kidding), the completion of my Masters degree (Finally), and the acceptance of a new (and more fitting) job, there was a certain type of closure felt. As I exited Roosevelt Hall on the Brooklyn College campus for probably the last time, it felt like the weight of the world was released from my shoulders. Not necessarily weight from the ebb and flow rigors of school, but a complete turn of the page in my life. Clean slate.

And as I sit here and I recall looking over Brooklyn College’s quad with chairs lined for various Graduate students ready to jump back out into the “real world”, I could not help but think about the past few years. The struggles, the thoughts, and the experiences. The good ones such as working with children and young adults at a Teen center. Realizing how much has changed, and well, how much hasn’t. Even the quirky ones, such as how uncanny of an interest (and eye) I now have for anything physiological or exercise science related. I can’t get enough of it it seems. Yes, a weird chapter in this lifetime. A chapter now complete.

Another aspect I realized is that I love school. Say what? Yes, I absolutely love school. Not only am I a child at heart, but a huge nerd as well. I enjoy learning, and if school wasn’t so expensive, I’d probably take classes for the rest of my life. Just not at the crazy pace of six classes like this past summer. No one should experience that type of madness.

However, the most important and essential quality that I’ll take away from this is my ability to believe in myself. I’m terrible at self-confidence. I’ll be the first to admit it. My professors know it, my friends know it, and even my tag-team partner - she knows it. Yet, in the past couple of months, I’ve learned the fine area between self-confidence, arrogance, humility, and self-indulgence. It’s a fine area, but it is there. Although, it is still a work in progress to stay there.

Nonetheless, I now realize that an individual has greater fear in their capabilities and potential than their weaknesses. I have a greater understanding for the poem “Our Deepest Fear” by Marianne Williamson.  I accept it. I believe it. When professors recommend and urge a pursuit of a Ph.D., being afraid is no longer an option. I realize that God has given me a gift, and not utilizing or cultivating it is the biggest tragedy of all options.

With all that said, I sit here on a beautiful morning, renewed, refreshed, and ready see where this new beginning leads. On the day of learning of my resignation from the teen center, a fellow co-worker, and former veteran in the Korean and Vietnam war (Not to mention a DP devotee) said to me, “Young fella, good things happen to good people. Believe it. Sometimes it may not seem so, but believe in God, your family, and yourself, and things will work out in the end.”

Wisdom must definitely come with age. Because he was right.

Things did work out in the end. And because of this end, a new beginning has formed.

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