Skip to main content

Dear Son, Back to Work


-- 8 Weeks Old --

Dear Son, 

The last 8 weeks have been pretty crazy, and even that is an understatement in many ways. Your presence has really reshaped, refocused, and redefined much of how I look at life, and my relationship with others (more on that in another post). Honestly, the bottom line - you're number one in everything. Like, EVERYTHING. 

I'll never - EVER - forget the month of July 2018. I spent an incredibly vast amount of time with you in the earliest days of your life. Luckily, I was able to be awarded four weeks of paternity leave from work to bond, to help, and really, to fall in love you with you - and let's be honest, it didn't (doesn't) take much.

Throughout that month I've watched countless hours of television with you on my chest or in my arms, and anyone can tell you, I don't watch much television. So let that speak for itself. I've done multiple laps around our apartment giving in to your obsession of needing to be moving and in motion. I've fed you, fallen asleep with you, and even at times, watched you sleep. Creepy, I know...

I've endured you peeing on me several times, pooping on me, spitting up on me, throwing up on me, drooling on me, farting on me, and the occasional sneeze in the face. You're absolutely gross, by the way. The worst mannered human I've ever come across. We'll hopefully work on all of that going forward. But again, you're terrific. Let that balance sink in. 

I've watched your body developed drastically, I've witnessed you discovering your tongue, and I have experienced your odd love for sunrises, for the view of Nostrand Aveneue and Manhattan from our kitchen window (the apartment vista point for those who have visited the historic 7L), and your unique acceptance of some kinds of music, as well as your utter distaste for others. 

Lest we never forget your grumpy disagreements with the sounds emanating from the television when mom watched some CMA CountryFest show, and the horrors you experience when Midland performed. Don't worry, I wasn't a fan either. 

Even after all of that, truthfully, one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life was having to strap on my backpack, throw on my hat - everyday norms on what used to be a normal everyday sort-of-thing - and try to walk out the front door to head to work. It's sounds sad, maybe even slightly pathetic on my part - but it was so hard.

After being with you for every single moment of the day, I had to kiss you goodbye, kiss mom goodbye, and head out for ten hours of the day. Again, it was so incredibly hard. For some reason, I felt that was ten hours I was missing out on. Ten hours of doing without my favorite thing in life. Ten hours of thinking about getting back to you to do our thing - you peeing, pooping, spitting up, drooling, farting, and sneezing on me. But of course, giving me that smile and displaying that already crazy personality of yours - it makes it all worth it. 

July was tough, extremely tough at times, no doubt about it. I bear those sleepless nights as a badge of honor for my initiation to parenthood - the first of many to come for sure. But it came time for me to rip the band-aid a bit, and man was it hard. Going back to work - easily one of the toughest days of my life thus far. 

But you know what, it sets up one of my favorite things in life - coming home after a hard day and holding you. I'll take the good with the bad, as I'm learning the currency of Ace is worth much more than the heartbreaks of life. 

Recently Read Posts

CM Punk's Return - Perfect Timing for the Symbol of Anti-WWE

Looooooooook in my eyes, what do you see?! The lyrics to Cult of Personality, especially that first bar,  never felt so fitting for CM Punk as it did last night.  For the most part, everything that is CM Punk's return to wrestling last night at AEW Rampage ties directly into my latest thoughts on pro wrestling - the company is making it must-see destination television, an element desperately needed from pro wrestling.  Last night was incredible as again, it was another moment that made wrestling feel alive - with a wild and energetic pulse. It was one of the coolest moments in pro wrestling that you knew was coming, expected, anticipated, and it was everything and more. Again, MUST-SEE television. That's hard to do.  For me, it wasn't just Punk's return to pro wrestling, but the mere presence and voice of his inclusion in today's space. We know that Punk can deliver on the microphone - probably his best and most signature attribute. We also know that yes, he can

Thanksgiving 2021: 5 Things I'm Thankful For

The season is upon us we all begin to reflect on the year, explore our deepest thoughts and feelings of gratitude, and express appreciation for the truer, more meaningful things in life.  I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am so incredibly excited for this holiday season. The combination of wanting the rest from what has been a demanding and exhausting semester (shout out to everyone in Student Affair realms and in Education around the country - hang in there), seeing these holidays through my son's eyes as he now understands and appreciates them, and my experiences over the last few years (losing my dad and the effects of the pandemic), all of it makes for an anticipated Holiday season - Thanksgiving included. I'm not quite sure what it is, or why the sudden feeling, but the need to express gratitude is even more abundant this year in my heart than it is has been. I have tried to remain more mindful over the last couple of months - being more present, spending energ

Sunday Sundown Rundown - 11/21/21

3 Up 1. COVID Boosters - Look, I'm not getting into vaccinations and whatnot...I'm over the discussion for 2021. However, I still find it remarkable that we not only have vaccinations for what we experienced not too long ago, but further science to help the cause.  2. MLB Covers Minors Housing - This was a long time coming. Say what you want about the changes to the minor leagues (reduction of franchises - some even closing), but the improvement of the pipeline is soooooooooo crucial if the sport is serious about improving its diversity and inclusion efforts, as well as attracting (and competing for) top talent. Plus, it's just the right thing to do. 

Sunday Sundown Rundown - 11/28/21

3 Up 1. Thanksgiving - A time for thanks, if nothing else, a restorative time away from work. Happy Thanksgiving to all, and be sure to give thanks and practice expressing gratitude.  Here are some quick thanks and thoughts from yours truly... 2. McMichael Trial Conviction - Is it weird that I feel relieved from this trial? Afterall, so many of these things go the other way. I could go on about how the state of Georgia didn't want to prosecute this case until it became a viral discussion, butttttttt, I'll just take this.  Really, I just hope this brings about some kind of peace for the parents of Ahmaud Arbery.