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Dear Son, First Christmas


-- 6 Months and 1 Day Old --

Dear Son,

It's been three months since my last letter to you. Since then, you've been growing right before my eyes and making some huge strides in terms of connecting to your mother and I. For over the Fall season, I've witnessed you follow your eyes on us for the first time, recognize us for the first time, sit up for the first time, and yes, even take your first strides in crawling. It's been amazing!

And that's not counting some of the unique moments new parents notice in terms of motions, developments, and very unique mannerisms. We actually live for those idiosyncrasies.

Nonetheless, here we are - your first Christmas!

And to be honest, I'm not even sure how I envisioned this first for you. I just never had a moment to really refine my imagination of your first Christmas.

Again, part of that has to do with the idea that it just kind of creeped up on your mother and I in the midst of adjusting to living life as three. The holidays definitely came out of no where for me as not only have you changed my life, but in many ways, I've changed my life - finishing a second masters degree and even starting a new job as of late - all on top of everything that is you. So yeah, lots of things going on!

But what we're doing this year is attempting to keep things as normal as possible - well, for this year.

Because as I sit and punch the keys on this topic, I'm excited about the prospect of one day - on Christmas - beginning our own traditions and starting our own memories.

There are plenty of memories and traditions that your mother and I bring to the table, including some that we may struggle in letting go of - even if things aren't the same as we still want them or remember them to be. Yet, the prospect of starting anew, with creating memories and traditions for you is just as exciting.

For example - Santa Claus. I'll tell you right now, I'm not a fan of the dude. My father, your grandfather, once said to me that he never pushed the idea (or spirit, or character, whatever...) of Santa to me because he worked hard all year and wanted me to know that my gifts came from him and having an appreciation for that hard work.

Your mother's side, much like many American families, love them some Santa Claus. Again, whatever he, or that is. But I digress.

But while those nuances can be eventually worked out (And i'll let you decide on Santa, I promise), it's the little things like the movies we will watch, foods we'll eat, things we'll do, and memories we'll make that are exciting.

I haven't had my Christmas - so to speak - in years. As of this writing, I've spent the last twelve or so Christmas' in Syracuse, NY. Now, it's fine, but it's just you know, not what I loved about my Christmas. Christmas Eve church service the night before that sets the meaning of Christmas in focus (Jesus' birth!). It's the awesome moment of singing O' Holy Night among a candlelight-lit congregation. Especially, the moment the whole church goes a capella for the final verse.

Or even on Christmas day, and the the early morning breakfast with friends and family. Mom baking fresh bread, awesome steak, stew beef, eggs, hash browns, tea, and of course, real (oh yeah!!!) hot cocoa from the islands - all with Christmas soca songs playing in the background.

Ahhhhhh, I can easily go back if I close my eyes and open up my heart! I still hold on to those days.

And I want that for you. Not memories or customs we force on you because well, that's what we did. But memories that you can close your eyes, smell a certain scent, taste just a bit of a specific something, hear a particular tune, envision precise moments, and of course, get that warm and tingly feeling that just takes you back, to Christmas. Your Christmas.

So while this is your first Christmas, and there are many who wanted you to be a part of their celebration and eventually, fitting into what they've done and will remember. I can't wait for you, your mom and myself to make our own.

Those future Christmas' are going to be fun. Epic, really.

But most of all, I can't wait to share them with you.

Merry freakin first Christmas, Ace.

Love, Dad.
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