In this latest edition of Would You Rather, yours truly goes with a classic Harry Potter theme courtesy of those fine folks at Buzzfeed.
151. Would you rather drink butter beer or pumpkin juice?
The butter beer option is highly intriguing. But despite the fictional world, the rationale of it sounds highly concerning. Like, butter beer? I don't know. Yeah, pumpkin juice just sounds like a good, normal, go-to for muggles. However, I'm still highly intrigued by butter beer, but only in a fictional Harry Potter world, I guess.
152. Would you rather learn to apparate or become an anigimus?
This is easy. Give me the ability to apparate. That's cool. I really don't have any interest in being any type of animal. Not at all. I'll pass.
153. Would you rather stay the summer with the Malfoys or Dursleys?
Oooooh, this is a good one! Stay with me on this, but I would choose the Malfoys. I really believe they're misunderstood. There needs to be a 60-Minutes expose on the real Malfoys, and it likely will show they were held beyond their will in servitude to Voldemort. All of the Malfoys just felt fake in their devotion to the Death Eaters. So yeah, I'm going with the Malfoys. I'll be looking to get the real scoop on them.
The Dursleys just felt like a fine family who were just a casualty of the muggle/wizard intersection. Nothing of interest there for me.
155. Would you rather be one of the Hogwarts paintings or one of the Hogwarts ghosts?
The ghost thing would be weird. I can't imagine the countless explanations Myrtle the Ghost had to engage in. Especially, in the bathroom. Just weird. Being a painting would be cool - I see it as being trapped in a really good memory forever, while still have a window to the current world.
156. Would you rather be a seeker or beater in Quidditch?
Defense wins championships. Give me the beater spot. Especially in a sport where it seems so easy to score.
157. Would you rather have the resurrection stone or the invisibility cloak?
The Invisibility cloak for sure. There is just something really cool about it that I can't explain.
158. Would you rather betray Dumbledore or become a Death Eater?
Betray Dumbledore. I never trusted him to begin with, and well, he ends up betraying you, anyway. Might as well beat him to it. The Death Eater is a cool name...I'd probably hang with the Malfoys.
160. Would you rather have Dolores Umbridge or Voldemort as your neighbor?
Give me Voldemort as my neighbor. Delores Umbridge just seems like the kind of lady who will ring my doorbell because some of the leaves from a tree rooted on my property fell in her yard.
Sure, Voldemort would be up to shady shit, but you know, it's Voldemort. I see myself waiving to Voldemort and his group from my backyard thinking, oh, it's just Voldemort and the Death Eaters plotting to get Harry. I'd probably invite him over to the BBQ - mellow out that anger a bit with a burger - maybe a Volde-burger. We'll make a few Death Eater jokes while chowing on some macaroni salad - you know, the usual of living next door to a Wizard Terrorist.
I just realized from these questions how much sympathy I have for the Death Eaters.
161. Would you rather wizards be real and never find out because you were a muggle, or that everything about Harry Potter was fiction?
The thought of Harry Potter being real, and a real person being that bad of a friend to those who are helping him not get killed has to remain fiction. It just has to. I couldn't take that person being true.