131 days to go.
This past weekend the tag team partner and I headed up to Syracuse, site of 9.24.11, for a four day weekend packed with several tasks for the wedding. Such tasks consisted of meeting with the Deacon of the church where the wedding will take place, and finally taking some engagement photos, which is a huge deal to my super creative and artsy tag team partner.
On a Friday afternoon, we began the tasks by meeting with the Deacon who had us fill out some minor paper work. All, which seemed standard included the usual information of name, address, and phone number that any form would entail. Following the competition of the papers, we discussed the various options for readings, progressions, and possibilities for the ceremony. After much of the informational discussion, the Deacon presented us with a test that we should take that is pretty much a compatibility test. Both of us answered a few questions via scantron and a number two pencil, which was awesome. Yeah, I know, I’m a big nerd. Nonetheless, our answers will not only compared between us, but compared to some big shot psychologist that apparently knows what perfect love should look like.
Nonetheless, much like the Deacon stated, we didn’t take it seriously, and had fun with it.
The other task, was the taking of several engagement photos. Personally, I knew going in this wasn’t for me, but as always, and a prime example of what marriage should be about, I sucked it up and did it for my tag team partner. As we posed, positioned, and smiled for each and every one of the near 200 photos, I realized it’s moments like these that make a marriage special. Doing something you hate, only to enjoy it, because the person you love is super excited about it.
Our photographer, who is amazing at what she does, as well as very easy to like, did her best to capture our love with the perfect picture.
And yes, my cheeks still hurt.
However, the biggest experience that I came away with from this weekend was one that took place in my tag team partner father’s living room. Without being too personal and giving away too much information, it involved my tag team partner’s family. Her parents, who divorced while she was in her teens, has left a huge rift in her family, particularly due to a couple of people. And as my tag team partner continues to grow up, many of the truths about various sensitive subjects in her life have surfaced, and continue to surface due to 9.24.
And as the unveiling continue, I see my tag team partner disappointed in what seemed like a truth she wanted so badly to be proven wrong.
However, on the other side, she admitted that witnessing a failed marriage, as well as the current situation before her, helps her realize what she wants out of a marriage, and what she wants to put into a marriage.
What to do, and what not to do.
As a huge Friday Night Lights enthusiast, the phrase, “Be Perfect” has always stuck with me.
And as the movie stated:
“Being perfect is about your relationship to yourself and your family and friends. Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didn’t let them down, because you told them the truth. And that truth is that you did everything that you could. Can you live in that moment, as best as you can, with clear eyes and love in your heart.If you can do that…then you’re perfect.”-Friday Night Lights (2004)
Somehow, on this trip, my tag team partner and I realized that our love can’t be measured by a test.
And cannot be captured by the perfect picture.
My tag team partner and I learned the key to a healthy marriage and an unconditional love is not a perfection that can be attained, but one that already lies with in us.
Marriage is all about being perfect.