The Unity Road Writings - Find One That’s Golden, And Never Let Go

89 days to go.

So as the days now head into double-digit territory, the anticipation continues to grow, and the reflection continues. While chatting with a friend, the topics of girls of the past came up. He proceeded to attempt to warn me that I will soon be “limited to one woman”, and that I will have to find new ways to keep things between myself and my tag-team partner fresh. All of this in a way to attempt somewhat scare me, or make me think twice about this supposed “hard work” that lies ahead.

As he continued, I simply responded with a single statement, “hey, I’m getting married, I don’t need to pretend, or play games anymore…the chess match for me is over”. Right there he knew I was right. While he still has to impress, still has endure the “feeling out process”, and still has to “figure things out”, I just have to be myself. And sure, marriage brings many new barriers and trials, however, I can thoroughly be myself through the entire process.

And while we went back and forth in this conversation, I began to think about the past. It’s very natural to think about the past, and the other girls and situations that that were in helping me get to this point.

I’ll be the first to admit, I was absolutely terrible with girls/women. Terrible in reading their signs. Awful at the entire dating process. And even worst at being a good boyfriend. And, you can forget about me knowing how to ask a girl out! I spent many summers treating the task of asking a crush out like it was some sort of battle plan. Mission failed, many times. Thank the good Lord I managed to somewhat figure it out by the time I began seeing my future wife. Or at least I did a good enough job of pretending. Or maybe she was just really sympathetic.

Yeah, I’ll go with the last selection.

And while many of you that read the DP are a few of those “girls of the past”, I intend on taking a trip down the past to let others into some of the ridiculous things yours truly has done.

There was girl A in Kindergarten. Yes, your boy’s ineptitude goes back that far. Sure, everyone had boyfriends and girlfriends at that age. The type that lasted a week, maybe two. Girl A was a good friend of mine. Well, one day, Girl A decided to give me a cookie, and hold my hand while smiling at me. What did yours truly do? I ate the cookie, stared at her strangely as she held my hand, and then aggressively pulled my hand away to yes, ask her for another one of her cookies. Yes, just the beginning of missing many, many, obvious signs.

There was girl B. Girl B and I somewhat dated in Junior High School. It was so bad that her younger sister had to call my house to ask “if I liked her sister”. My response, “yeah, sure. Can we talk about this later?Moose is on the hill”. Well let’s just say, the spring of 1999 I showed more attention to my beloved New York Knicks than her. At one point, she gave me an ultimatum: hanging out with her for the day, or we were through. My response: “Sure. We can hang until 6pm. The Knicks play at 7pm.” Umm yeah, that was that.

Then there were girls C through H, who I found out much later liked me in High School. Many of them stating that I was about as oblivious as can be. Some of the quotes that were said to me after our high school experience were: “The only way you would know a girl liked you would be if they just flat out said, ‘I like you’”; “Trying to date you is like juggling a calendar. I have to figure out when sports or wrestling aren’t on to get your attention. Not sure I can compete with that”; and of course my favorite, “The girl that finally gets your attention, must be very special”.

According to my tag-team partner, girl H through Z existed in college. I did, however, get a bit better at recognizing such signs, but was never interested in a relationship I knew would fail.

Through it all, as I now look back on the many missed signs, and the handful of girls that I mistreated by placing them fourth behind the Yankees, Knicks, Jets, and Pro Wrestling, I realize that I am thoroughly glad to be getting married.

Sure, I am excited about sharing my life with my tag-team partner, but the mere fact of not having to battle plan, read signs, play games, or attempt to be something I’m not for a few weeks into the relationship is something I won’t miss.

Because, I was absolutely terrible at it.

My future wife has a saying, “Find one that is golden, and never let go.”

Little does she know, she’s the golden one.

She’s the one I noticed.

She’s the one I made time for.

She’s the one I don’t have to play games with.

She’s the one that I am never letting go of.

Because if I do…I’m screwed.