Skip to main content

Dear Son, Letting In and Letting Go


--25 Weeks Old (Before Birth)--

Dear Son, 

The word is now spreading to more and more people about your existence, or eventual arrival - however, you prefer to look at it - and it feels like a fire that is now out of our control. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but as mentioned in prior letters to you, your mother and I are pretty methodical in how we divulge news about our private lives. 

Truthfully, your mother is definitely more willing to share news than I am, and you'll eventually see that one day. Maybe I'll change, who knows? But the truth is, because of the nature in how I grew up, in the neighborhood that I did, and really, the independence that I had to attain early on, I've always been late to share things with others. That's just who I am. It's probably why I have had this very blog since I was sixteen - to let those thoughts out somewhere. 

Nonetheless, everyone now knows. I'm talking like everyone. Even the teller lady at the business office at the college where I work as of this writing. And for me, I'm trying to cope with that. 

Why? Because with that comes attention. And with that attention comes the kind of fluff excess that I constantly try to avoid, or rather, the kind of things that annoy me. You know, all that "extra-ness" humans like to make up as social customs. 

For the record, if you're wondering, we did not have a gender reveal party for you. I find them to be ridiculous. It's basically keeping a secret from yourself, simply to surprise yourself. I don't see the appeal. Just my opinion. And really, it goes into that box of "extra-ness" I like to stay away from. 

But I digress...

Nonetheless, I already see your mother, the focus of not one, not two, but THREE(!) upcoming baby showers, and her emotions and reactions to them all. It's joy, yet, an annoyance, and a wanting to just be at times during this experience. 

I feel for her. And at the same time, I fear that for me at some point in this journey. 

Everyone wants to offer advice. Everyone wants to know your name (BTW, at this point, we do). Really, everyone is excited. and I get that. And others are just being nosey and annoying. Your mother and I - shockingly - get that too. 

For me, this week, in realizing how much of my personal life is now so abroad and so transparent, it causes me to feel vulnerable. And again, as someone who defied odds, statistics, neighborhoods, and more, vulnerability is something that I just don't do well with. I'll admit it - assuredness is a close friend of mine - it's a gift and a curse. But, it's got me where I am thus far in life. 

However, that same vulnerability is growth. I'm seeing as you grow, so do I. Possibly transforming. Or evolving. Whatever it is, I'm already changing. Because while I'm getting used to all of this, and it is making me slightly uncomfortable, I'm beginning to realize much of this isn't about me. 

It's a small step in letting people in. But really, I'm letting go. I'm beginning to let go in more ways than I ever have before. 

Sincerely,

Your I-guess-I-gotta-change Dad

Recently Read Posts

CM Punk's Return - Perfect Timing for the Symbol of Anti-WWE

Looooooooook in my eyes, what do you see?! The lyrics to Cult of Personality, especially that first bar,  never felt so fitting for CM Punk as it did last night.  For the most part, everything that is CM Punk's return to wrestling last night at AEW Rampage ties directly into my latest thoughts on pro wrestling - the company is making it must-see destination television, an element desperately needed from pro wrestling.  Last night was incredible as again, it was another moment that made wrestling feel alive - with a wild and energetic pulse. It was one of the coolest moments in pro wrestling that you knew was coming, expected, anticipated, and it was everything and more. Again, MUST-SEE television. That's hard to do.  For me, it wasn't just Punk's return to pro wrestling, but the mere presence and voice of his inclusion in today's space. We know that Punk can deliver on the microphone - probably his best and most signature attribute. We also know that yes, he can

Sunday Sundown Rundown - 11/21/21

3 Up 1. COVID Boosters - Look, I'm not getting into vaccinations and whatnot...I'm over the discussion for 2021. However, I still find it remarkable that we not only have vaccinations for what we experienced not too long ago, but further science to help the cause.  2. MLB Covers Minors Housing - This was a long time coming. Say what you want about the changes to the minor leagues (reduction of franchises - some even closing), but the improvement of the pipeline is soooooooooo crucial if the sport is serious about improving its diversity and inclusion efforts, as well as attracting (and competing for) top talent. Plus, it's just the right thing to do. 

Thanksgiving 2021: 5 Things I'm Thankful For

The season is upon us we all begin to reflect on the year, explore our deepest thoughts and feelings of gratitude, and express appreciation for the truer, more meaningful things in life.  I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am so incredibly excited for this holiday season. The combination of wanting the rest from what has been a demanding and exhausting semester (shout out to everyone in Student Affair realms and in Education around the country - hang in there), seeing these holidays through my son's eyes as he now understands and appreciates them, and my experiences over the last few years (losing my dad and the effects of the pandemic), all of it makes for an anticipated Holiday season - Thanksgiving included. I'm not quite sure what it is, or why the sudden feeling, but the need to express gratitude is even more abundant this year in my heart than it is has been. I have tried to remain more mindful over the last couple of months - being more present, spending energ

Sunday Sundown Rundown - 11/28/21

3 Up 1. Thanksgiving - A time for thanks, if nothing else, a restorative time away from work. Happy Thanksgiving to all, and be sure to give thanks and practice expressing gratitude.  Here are some quick thanks and thoughts from yours truly... 2. McMichael Trial Conviction - Is it weird that I feel relieved from this trial? Afterall, so many of these things go the other way. I could go on about how the state of Georgia didn't want to prosecute this case until it became a viral discussion, butttttttt, I'll just take this.  Really, I just hope this brings about some kind of peace for the parents of Ahmaud Arbery.