Introducing: The DP All-Star Clash, where we take a break from the ongoing search for answers in this race called life, and have a little fun. Every other genre has it's mid-season or year classic, and why not the DP. With the Dome Pondering: Year in Review being the signature post of this blog, why not have some fun mid-way through?
With that said, we've taken thirty-two characters, celebrities, athletes, and some other DP favorites, and placed them in a tournament-style bracket. And because The Clash is simply for fun, there is no rhyme or reason in determining this, other than going with the flow, and punching the keys without heart, and mores so with the imagination. With all of that said and an concept introduction out of the way, let's punch the keys on some creative writing, and take a look toward the upcoming match-ups.
2012 DP All-Star Clash Bracket
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| Click to Enlarge |
First Round Match Ups - Madison Square Garden Bracket
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| #1 Batman vs. #8 John Mayer |
This is your classic one-eight match-up. On one side, you have the always cool, always intriguing, savior of Gotham City in Batman. He's rich, has cool nicknames, has a butler, has amazing forms of transportation and awesome gadgets and let's be honest, is probably the coolest super hero there is. After all, Batman movies never get old. Who doesn't what to be Batman?
And then there is John Mayer. I personally think John Mayer makes decent music - sometimes. But let's be honest, Mayer is the epitome of whining, complaining, teenage girls and a hint of emo all wrapped up into an amazing guitar playing singer. His guitar play saves him, but not not enough to pass the Dark Knight.
After all, would you wear a Batman t-shirt or a John Mayer t-shirt? Yeah, didn't think so.
Result: Batman moves on.
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| #5 Conan vs. #4 John Cena |
Talk about an interesting match-up. The man that got jerked around by NBC against John Cena, the company man for the WWE.
Besides the fact that John Cena is insanely strong (the man wears a headband on his bicep) and is arguably this generation's top guy in pro wrestling, he's never been defined. It seems the only people that like Cena are women and children under fifteen. And let's not even talk about is foray into movies. See: The Marine. Cena could possibly kill Conan in a fight.
However, Conan is not only insanely funny and incredibly smart (He's a Harvard graduate believe it or not), but Conan is a brand. Known all over by one name. Plus, if they did fight, we all know Andy Richter and possibly Max Weinberg, Jimmy Vivino and the Basic Cable band would have his back.
Not to mention, Comic the Insult Dog.
Ultimately, it's the weird red hair poof over the freakishly bicep-headband wearing enigma.
Result: Conan with win.
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| #6 Brad Paisley vs. #3 Jeremy Lin |
#3 Jeremy Lin vs. #6 Brad Paisley
OK, let's be serious, Brad Paisley is not cool. Seriously. Even if you are a fan of country music, the guy is just annoying in an I'm-the-perfect-cowboy, Alex-Rodriguez-I-try-too-hard type of way. The guitars, the hats, and the tight pants - I get it, you sing country music, and you want to look the part.
Jeremy Lin on the other hand, is defined by one word - Linsanity. The ultimate underdog. In some weird fashion I see these two fighting in the middle of the street similar to the scene in Rocky V (Oh yeah, such a classic!) with Paisley playing the role of Tommy Gunn and Lin as Rocky. I'm sure Paisley, the country boy that he is will pound the snat out of the Southern Cal good boy, Lin. However, at somepoint in that fight, "Eye of the Tiger" will fade in, and Lin will make his dramatic comeback. Probably (and hopefully) winning by smashing a guitar over Paisley's head.
Yeah, that sounds excellent.
Result: Rock...err Lin
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| #2 Jay-Z vs. #7 Danica Patrick |
#2 Jay-Z vs. #7 Danica Patrick
Danica Patrick is a talented woman in a man's world. She's independent. She's beautiful. She's transcending. She's a role model for young girls all over the world.
But come on man, she ain't Jay-Z.
Result: Jay-Z with the easy win.