Skip to main content

True Tales From Parks and Recreation - "Naked" Dog



Note: I work for a park slowly in continuing development in Manhattan that is five miles along the waterfront of the Hudson River. As a Public Programs Coordinator, yours truly handles anything public related in regards to permitting (athletic facilities, film shoots, photo shoots, weddings, and other small gatherings), and of course, dealing with any questions or inquiries from the public. The following series will present stories, e-mails, phone calls, conversations, interactions, and sights I've seen from the people of New York City in regards to a public park. And yes, these are all real! And are all true!

Welcome to another little snippet of Parks and Recreation.

The following tale is another doozy that simply baffles the human mind. Working in Parks and Recreation, over time, you develop a certain layer of professionalism that helps in dealing with the head scratching idiocy of fellow members of man-kind to deliver a kind, gentle, and very customer-service friendly response. Somehow, you become immune to the immediate laugh or eye-brow raising facial expression you would normally give someone. You develop a sense of staying in the moment, and giving an answer to get out of it. 

The following True Tale is an example of that. This tale is a phone call I received from a person looking to bring their dog to one of our many dog runs. 

Me: Good afternoon, this is Devin. 

Caller: Hi, yes, I had a question about your park...

Me: Sure, how can I assist you?

Caller: I am new to New York, I just moved from Kansas, and I saw that you have specific rules about dogs in your park. 

Me: Yes we do. All lawns in the park are dog-free lawns. Also, dogs are not permitted on the bike path. Dogs are allowed on the waterfront esplanade walk-path. However, we recommend one of our many dog-runs which provide an enclosed space for your dog to roam free in. 

Caller: Oh, I think she would love that! She is a country-dog at heart, and she really hasn't settled into the city-life. She's spooked by how busy it is. hahaha. 

Me: [Courtesy laugh and eye roll]. 

Caller: Now the question that concerns me is the apparel for dogs in the park. Is their a clothing rule? 

Me: Ummm...for the dog? Or yourself? [Very confused at this point]

Caller: For my little girl. 

Me: Your daughter? 

Caller: No, Cindy, my little terrier. 

Me: Oh...[Highly confused now]

Caller: I noticed here in the city a lot of the dogs roam the streets and the parks naked. Is that allowed. Or are these folks taking a chance?

Me: [mind racing...and hoping this is a prank call...hoping!] Well, no, there are no requirements other than leashes for dogs while in the park. You can take your dog off the leash once in the dog-run. 

Caller: OK! Great! [super hyper and excited now] Cindy, usually accessorizes her little outfit with her leash. It's the cutest! [she laughs hysterically now]. 

Me: [Officially confused. Partly disturbed. More courtesy laugh]

Caller: So ok! Sooooo, Cindy can go naked to the dog-run if she'd like? Ah mean, most likely she'll wear a cut little shirt I purchased for her, but just in case the dog runs are dirty, I guess she can go naked for the day, right? No fines or anything like that? 

Me: [VERY concerned for this lady. Now with a slow voice] Yup. She can go naked to the dog-run. [I can't believe I just said that.]

At this point my cubilce-mates turn and look at me in interest. I make a silent laughing and twirl my finger by my temple signifying the lunacy. 

Caller: OK. Maybe I'll let her wear an old KU giddyup (yes, she said giddyup, one of the more memorable things from this story). [In her true country drawl now...] Her naked in the city! How about that? The guys will be going crazy. [She begins talking to Cindy the dog now, by first talking in an annoying doggy voice then stating...] We're going out in the city, girl! And you can be naked if you want! 

Me: [Highly disturbed for this woman at this point] Alright ma'am, all the best in visiting the park, and have a great day. 

Caller: [country drawl really letting loose] Well alright now. Thank you for being so kind and helping us as we adjust to nue-yawk-citay! Cindy and I can't wait. I'll be clothed, she'll be naked! [more ear screaching laughter] We can't wait to hit the town. Thanks again! Byyyyyyye!

Me: Goodbye. 

And even after typing that, I still can't believe the call, or the fact that this lady believed in the "naked" dog. Unbelievable.

Recently Read Posts

CM Punk's Return - Perfect Timing for the Symbol of Anti-WWE

Looooooooook in my eyes, what do you see?! The lyrics to Cult of Personality, especially that first bar,  never felt so fitting for CM Punk as it did last night.  For the most part, everything that is CM Punk's return to wrestling last night at AEW Rampage ties directly into my latest thoughts on pro wrestling - the company is making it must-see destination television, an element desperately needed from pro wrestling.  Last night was incredible as again, it was another moment that made wrestling feel alive - with a wild and energetic pulse. It was one of the coolest moments in pro wrestling that you knew was coming, expected, anticipated, and it was everything and more. Again, MUST-SEE television. That's hard to do.  For me, it wasn't just Punk's return to pro wrestling, but the mere presence and voice of his inclusion in today's space. We know that Punk can deliver on the microphone - probably his best and most signature attribute. We also know that yes, he can

Predictions and Wild Guesses for the 2021-22 NBA Season

For the first time in as long as I can remember, my New York Knicks have become a bit of a sanctuary for my sports fandom. Everything that has been the New York Yankees summer, and recent elimination, just begs for a proverbial turning of the page. The NBA season is that new chapter.  The Knicks season is a bit of a conundrum, as they've gotten much better, BUT, so did the rest of the Eastern Conference. I'm feeling confident, but I'm also anxious for more good basketball and hoping that last year wasn't some fluky gift to us Knicks for our patience prior to last season.  Whatevs...nonetheless, here are my predictions for the upcoming NBA season.

Sunday Sundown Rundown - 10/24/21

3 Up 1. Science and Research - Look, I'm not trying to get into any debates or start trouble with this selection. I'm just giving props to the men and women who continue to develop these vaccines - and now approved booster shots - that help fight off this terrible virus that has plagued over the past 18 months. Some countries still don't have an option when it comes to vaccines - we're onto booster shots, and can "choose". Perspective and privilege are needed sometimes.  2. Col. Wang Yaping - Give it up to Yaping who in six weeks will become the first Chinese woman to walk in space. OF course, she is receiving tons of backlash from the media - but hey, did we expect anything else? 

Sunday Sundown Rundown - 10/10/21

3 Up 1. Moderna Vaccine to Low Income Nations - In a world where the idea of "pandemic" now feels like a state of mind or the privilege of belief, Moderna has decided to aim its efforts in getting at least 1 billion doses to low-income countries the COVID vaccine. I'll save the "vaccine" chat for another time - but this is pretty awesome by Moderna. And oh yeah, highly needed.  2. Candace Parker and Diana Taurasi - Two absolute legends of the WNBA had some legacy-cementing moments this week. Parker lead her hometown Chicago Sky into the WNBA finals, and Taurasi, was named the GOAT of the WNBA by fans. Because well, she is. Congrats to both.  3. Netlfix's On My Block - For the second week in a row I'm putting a personal - and admittedly, biased - selection in the "Up" section. One of my favorite shows by Netflix, On My Block , released its fourth and final season, and yes, I binged it on my daily commute home. Gonna miss the crew from Freeridge.